OK, hi. I’m back again. To be honest, I had no idea what to write this time around, and wanted to cop out and just write something like “Everyone needs a break. Back next month.” But the truth is that I may actually need to use that one some time, so I’m going to save it for emergencies. I really just wanted to avoid the blog for several reasons.

First, I felt that, because I had taken the plunge and gotten onstage last month, I had arrived. And there was now no longer any point in writing a blog about being a failed comic since I had succeeded and could now die fulfilled at the apex of my dream. At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself for the last week or so. The other and real reason I may have been hesitant to check in is that, since that magical night of my reunion with the dream, I haven’t been up again. And it hasn’t been because of a lack of desire. I’ve been writing with the intention of getting up again, and I’ve tried to familiarize myself with the places around town that offer the workout space. But I’ve discovered in my attempts to contact bookers for spots on what are being called open mic nights, that most of them are running “bringer shows”. For those in the dark, a “bringer show” is basically a situation where hopeful neophytes are told that if they bring a group of people to the venue, they can get a spot on the program. The idea is that the performers furnish the audience and, in turn, create a better atmosphere for performing. OK, sounds pretty fair. EXCEPT THAT IT’S NOT. See, here’s the thing. You cannot call a show where performers are required to provide the audience in order to actually perform an open mic.You can call it a “booked bringer show”. It is, essentially, a pay-to-play performance scheme. An open mic, on the other hand, is really just people showing up to a hole in the wall where there is no guarantee of an audience, putting their name on a list, and then being able to get up and do their thang to an almost-empty room with two jaded drunks in the back who fall asleep midway through your set. The way God intended. I have so many issues with bringer shows, it could be a separate blog. Suffice it to say, I am not a fan. Not because I don’t have people to bring if I want to. Maybe that’s true, maybe it’s not. No, I have a problem with them because they prevent people who should be getting up and working out their material from doing just that. Not all of us have somebody to bring to an evening show. Some people drive from miles away. Others are new in town. And some are just plain shy and don’t want to do their horrible amateur jokes in front of folks from the office. They shouldn’t have to. Doing comedy, or anything new or new-again, is already friggin’ nerve racking enough without the added stress of having to supply customers to the venue. What the hell are bookers for anyway? Helloooooooo! Do your damn jobs. If you want performers to post and flyer, or agree to buy something or to try and get people into the venue if and when they can, cool. By all means, that should be encouraged. But to say “You must bring at least three people with you or else you will not be allowed to perform” is ridiculous. And besides. The fact is that a performer’s skills are best honed in front of….wait for it….AN AUDIENCE OF STRANGERS. Not your mom and your neighbor and your best friend from high school and your grandma and your work mates. They will clap no matter what horrible shite you spew out of your gullet. How does that give you a read on your progress? It doesn’t. It just makes more people sign up for You-Can-Do-It-Too workshops because they hear you do a crap bit that the “audience” seems to love, and they go “Oh, wow. I can do that too.”. Ugh. There are too many people doing this stuff as it is. We’ve made it too easy. We’ve got to go back to the basics. The bootcamp stuff. You must ride through the dark and cold abyss of a true OPEN MIC, my friends. It’s the only way.

Anyway, this is not a new gripe for me. And some people disagree. Mostly bookers.

All of that said, I hope this post doesn’t come back to bite me one day. Ha. It might. But by that time, maybe I will have started my own night somewhere. If I do, it’ll be seedy and dark, and I’ll flyer and advertise and promote the hell out of it to get people in. And I’ll let anybody who shows up and wants to get on, do so. Promise.

In the meantime, I gotta’ find somewhere to get onstage again, myself. And not a bringer show.

And you might ask, “Well, why don’t you just go back to the place you went to the time you did get up?” I could, but I want to branch out. That, and I’m scared. I do this thing where I can’t go back to places I’ve been. It’s silly, and it’s sabotaged me a lot. So, maybe I’ll have to stop being insane and do that. Also, though, I think I have actually found a couple other spots that truly are OPEN MICS. Momma’s got options.

Another thing I wanted to mention that has made me hesitant about blogging again is that I’ve wanted to kind of switch or broaden the tone of the posts. For one, I am actually in a different space nowadays. I don’t want to turn into such a Johnny-one-note. I’ve got angst aplenty, but maybe there are some new angles I can hit. Also, the world is completely insane as shit at the moment and I don’t feel it’s right to just be going on about my belly button. It feels wrong.* Now, that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop, but I’m wondering if maybe it’s possible to add some dimension to it. One thing I’m thinking is to just blog a bit more randomly. I really enjoy doing this. And maybe it is about just getting your inner bugaboos out. But I want to play around a little more and maybe free it up for whatever inspires. Watch, now that I said that I’ll unwittingly continue to drop the same shit on the blogshield as I have been since I started. Who knows? Wait and see, I guess.

*You’ll notice I made no promise to produce more socially conscious posts. I kinda’ feel like I should, but, then again, a lot of people are doing that too right now, so I don’t think I have to. Phew.

Bye for now, Y’all!