Is it really the last day of the month? Wow. How did that happen? I need more time. I really do.

Why the stalling? Busy? Sort of. But it’s really been about wanting to get out of the darkness and not knowing how. Help. Let me explain….

Today, I was visited by the crisis goblins. Essentially, I have spent the last two months semi-considering my options for how to increase readership. I have come to no solutions that do not involve me sitting in a puddle of my own fear sweat in the middle of a cold floor after realizing I have actually let anybody (besides mother and unnamed friend) know about my blog. See, there’s always a catch.

If I splay the promotion on Facebook, then I risk exposure to all my enemies. Well, not enemies exactly, but Facebook enemies. You know, high school kin, old colleagues, and everyone else. OK, I know it sounds like I think everybody is out to get me, but come on. Let’s get real. If Facebook is out to get you, which has now officially been proven, then it stands to reason that everybody on your list of Facebook “friends” is as well. It’s just sound logic. Sorry, “friends”, but I see you.

The next option is individually sending out messages, via email or Facebook, to individuals that pass the trust-with-your-feelings-and-truth-test (can’t reveal details). You let them know that you’re really sorry you have to actually contact them and ask them to maybe read your blog or at least the title of it, but that you’ve been forced to do it by your KGB captors, and that your and potentially their lives hang in the balance, but that you also understand they’re busy and that it’s probably easier if you just take one for the team by going to a cafe and ordering the poisoned cappucino.

What other options are there? I suppose a Twitter account is a good idea, but then I’d have to let everyone  know about that and…..well, maybe.

All I know is that TODAY I have to do something. So, I think I might just….well….no….I don’t know!

If I were already doing stand up again, then I could make little paper strips with the blog address on them and hand them out to people at shows, but

A- I haven’t started doing stand up again. Oh yeah, why not? Good question, but that’s for another post.

B- I probably wouldn’t do it anyway.

But at least if I were on a stage I could go, “Hey you guys. Don’t know if you’re interested. Probably not, but just in case, I have a blog. It’s called Running On Ashes. You have to start at the beginning and the posts are really long and there are, like, twenty of them, but if you get fired or get laid up with mono sometime, have a browse.”

I’m fucked. And I know I have to do one of the above. And I have to do it now.

Stay tuned.